By Kamakshi Tandon
Photo by AFP/Getty Images

Cap’n P-Mac, how hard are you kicking yourself for not making sure you snapped up Dmitry Tursunov when you had the chance? Tursunov clinched a spot in the Davis Cup final for Russia by defeating Andy Roddick 6-3, 6-4, 5-7, 3-6, 17-15, but he lives in California and has been trying to get American citizenship for years. Had he been successful, he could have been on the U.S. team instead of the other side of the net.

Andy, did you do yourself proud despite losing? “I am humbled by this victory,” said an adroit Roddick after winning his legendary match 4-6, 7-6, 4-6, 6-4, 21-19 against Younes El Aynaoui at the 2003 Australian Open. But he didn’t feel proud in defeat after losing to Tursunov on Sunday – at least partly because this was Davis Cup. “I’m not feeling a whole lot of positive things right now,” said Roddick. “You feel like you let you teammates down and your country down.”

Dmitry, is clay still for girls?

Dmitry, do you want to tell us what this photo is all about? In real time, this was barely noticeable. Captured in a photograph, it gives quite a different impression.

Cap’n Tarpischev, is the final going to be played on an outdoor ice rink? Talk about home advantage – the clay-loving Argentines would be coming in fresh from the South American summer sun. Unfortunately for the Russians, the ITF has regulations about both temperature and surface.

Has anyone ever seen two players deep in a fifth-set marathon more subdued than Roddick and Tursunov were on Sunday?

Greg Norman, where were you and your “Rusty” t-shirt? In the Argentina-Australia semifinal match between Jose Acasuso and Lleyton Hewitt, retired soccer star Diego Maradona wore a t-shirt emblazoned with “Chucho” – Acasuso’s nickname.

David, did your team lose the memo? David Nalbandian wasn’t backing off his pre-tie trash-talking and predictions of a whitewash for Argentina in the semifinals, especially after the Argentines actually did win 5-0. “When I talk, I do it,” said Nalbandian. But Jose Acasuso, who said earlier in the week that Hewitt’s security precautions suggested the Australian thought he was “in Iraq,” was reconciliatory afterwards. “He was a good competitor,” said Acasusco. “He only said 'come on' on the court a couple of times and we also said vamos.” Even Maradona softened his tone after his compatriots clinched the win. “He thought that we live with bows and arrows,” Maradona said on Friday. “We have to ruin him, we have to bring him to justice on the court.” Later, though, he called Hewitt a “maestro” and a “phenomenon.”

Lleyton, Mark, Wayne – what would Henin-Hardenne do? Australia gave Argentina a walkover in the last match after declaring that it had no players fit to play. Hewitt cited his knee problem, Mark Philippoussis was ruled out with back trouble, and Wayne Arthurs pulled out with an Achilles' tendon injury.

Roger, were you Djoking? Apparently not. When asked about Djokovic appearing injured during their Davis Cup playoff match on Sunday, Federer said, “I don’t trust his injuries, you know.” He then brushed aside the ensuing laughter. “I’m serious. I think he’s a joke, you know, when it comes down to his injuries. The rules are there to be used, not abused. He’s been doing it many times, that’s why I wasn’t happy to see him doing that and running around like a rabbit again. It was a good handshake. I was happy to beat him.”

Andy, did it feel like you were playing Rafael Nadal? Only between points. Andy Murray wasn’t happy about the time that Sergiy Stakhovsky was taking between points in the reverse singles of the Ukraine-Great Britain zonal playoff tie. “It was a bit annoying, because I had a plane to catch,” said Murray.