My friend @jessejmiller texted me at the start of this U.S. Open: "All I want for 2015 is for tennis brands to stop putting women in pink clothes. Overkill."
I'm inclined to agree, as Serena Williams herself has worn pink at the last three Opens. There comes a time to move on, but as so many heroes and sheroes of the game (how Billie Jean King of me)—Federer, Venus, Serena—are hardly fading, they should find themselves in more intriguing attire. The Spin already unveiled the style winners of the U.S. Open, and here now are the sinners. You may find some surprises:
Reliably sporting Lacoste, John Isner wears a shirt that appears a magnet for oversized pieces of lint.
Probably only Jelena Jankovic would even attempt to rock this dress by Fila. And only JJ almost gets away with it. Almost.
Ana Ivanovic oddly wore a little black dress in daytime, as if donning Adidas attire for her own Grand Slam season's funeral. The teal-toned shoes hardly save it, and Kirolina Pliskova ushered her out the door. Ivanovic pal Sorana Cirstea wore the same dress this week, also meeting her tennis end.
At least Maria Sharapova chooses to wear black by night, where she's 18-0 in Flushing Meadows. Still, the simplified LBD (jarringly paired with pink shoes) from Nike seems out of character for her, a far cry from the Audrey Hepburn–inspired dress she wore while winning the Open in 2006.
Let's face it, the "Darth Federer" fun is played out. Roger Federer plays so often by night in New York that Nike should give him something more engaging to wear whilst carving out those strokes of genius.
The Spin wants to love Venus Williams' dress by her own brand, EleVen by Venus, but the print of that frock replayed all over the visor is just too much.
The blue-and-gray panels on Eugenie Bouchard's Nike dress are well and good, but then those dastardly pink shoes happen again. Cut it out, Team Swoosh.
Jo-Wilfried Tsonga should be able to wear almost anything, but the colors of his Adidas shirt and shoes don't complement his white shorts and hat.
Maria Kirilenko faced a tall task in the first round, and countrywoman Sharapova gave her a pink slip at USO14. So be it, as the mix of colors on her (and Flavia Pennetta) just looks unwell. Adidas can do better, especially with these two pros.
Maybe it means he's taking his tennis more seriously, but Gael Monfils dons an Asics florescent-green shirt (with black shorts) that makes him look more highwayman than flashy tennis star. I think I miss the bold prints on his tops, even if they also mostly end up on this worst-looks roster.
Stella McCartney outfits Caroline Wozniacki in a nude dress for Adidas that is all sorts of wrong. The other version of this made my list of bests, but the unnecessary flap on the hip is glaring, and the pink shoes are an afterthought that does no favors. Stella, get thy groove back.
Odd how Andrea Petkovic and Wozniacki's on-court encounter was such a match-y match. The colorways also do a disservice to Petko's winsome self, thus it became a game of "Who Wore It Less Worse."
This fan. He didn't chicken out, wearing what he wanted, but this shouldn't happen if one has both friends and a mirror.
Andy Murray has seen a lackluster tennis season by his standards, and it's unfortunate to say, but his gray-and-black Adidas attire in Queens is no aid. Bright sweatbands and shoes can't salvage the look.
Similarly, Fabio Fognini looks like a villain in his dark Adidas garb.
Marin Cilic, did a box of black pens leak all over your Li-Ning polo?
Let's address Serena Williams' pink-cheetah dress. The reverse by Nike was fine, a favorite even, but the day-time take on it, with white-cheetah wristbands, just screams mistake. Serena offered ahead of this major that no one has sported such a print on a pro tennis court before. There may be reason for that.
There's not a Lotto good going on with David Ferrer's shirt.
Memo to Ekaterina Makarova (cc: Lotto)—this ain't Wimbledon, this is New York. Predominantly white attire is neither necessary nor desirable.
Who do you think has been a sartorial offender all season on the pro courts?
Got a tip or a point to make? Hit me on Twitter at @jonscott9.