Apps Apps Revolution
Jimmy Connors is joining the smartphone age and coming out with his own app. USA Today reports the app named "Jimmy Connors 109" (a nod to his record number of singles titles) is "part tutorial and part anecdotes." It will introduce Connors to a younger generation while giving gluttons for nostalgia a virtual smorgasbord of Jimmy. He'll teach his method of playing tennis, so dust off that aluminum T2000 sitting in your closet. This, of course, got me wondering, how could other players get in on this apps action? Here are some suggestions:
"Mighty Roger Federer" App: Be calm, cool and collected with Roger's guide to looking your best on the tennis court. Fusing fashion with athleticism, Roger will explain his thought process for choosing his ensembles, how to keep socks and bandanas in place, and how to perspire like a gentleman and not like a gym rat. Contains special features, including interviews with Anna Wintour and Gavin Rossdale, and Roger's tip for the quickest way to put on a Rolex watch.
"Rafael Nadal Winning" App: Rafa lets his hair down on this instruction series for winning like a true sportsman. Tips include, "How to hide your excitement when you beat your BFF," "How to make your OCD work for you," "How to manage an entourage that includes relatives," and "How to brand yourself with signature habits, like biting a trophy and running to the baseline after a coin toss."
"Maria Sharapova Shriek Right" App: Stop worrying about your grunts. Maria will instruct you on how to properly inhale and exhale, time your yells with your shots, help you build a rhythm with your screaming, and how not to overdo your shrieking so it doesn't become too much of a distraction for your opponents and spectators.
"Excuses, Excuses with Jelena Jankovic" App: No one knows how to come up with a reason for a loss better than Jelena. She'll teach you her greatest excuses, including "I felt dizzy, and I thought that I was just gonna end up in the hospital," "I have women's problems," and "I'm a little bit clogged up. I have some problems with the, you know, breathing."
And one more...
"Angry Andy" App: Pick off coaches with Andy Murray. Instead of a slingshot, you can fire "a glare" at the coach.