You wouldn’t believe what a pain in the neck it’s been for passers-by and other tenants of this office building to deal with the masses of sign- and banner-toting tennis fans constantly milling about on Madison Avenue, eight floors below the offices of TENNIS Magazine, vigorously demonstrating for the restart of TennisWorld ("No TennisWorld, No Peace!").
I briefly contemplated making a balcony appearance à la Michael Jackson (complete with infant doll prop) for my fans, but decided against it as we have no balcony. I don’t even have a window in my puny office. And to tell you the truth, I’m not even all that sure I have fans—to heck with all that, though, I’m blogging again anyway!
Speaking of freaks (that would be either me or M. Jackson, depending on your perspective)—how about this guy, William Lepeska? He’s the Anna Kournikova stalker who, in his own Swimming With Dolphins moment, flung himself stark naked into Biscayne Bay, bent on making an amphibious landing near Kournikova’s $5 million estate. It all went according to plan—that is, he didn’t drown—until he ran up to his targeted house, screaming, “Anna! Save me!” Whoever peeked out from behind the curtain must have been puzzled as well as shocked, for it was the wrong billionaire’s home.
Lepeska could face 30 years in state prison if convicted of felony charges that include resisting arrest and battery involving police officers (on top of the garden-variety misdemeanor charges of indecent exposure and stalking). Lepeska apparently has Anna’s name tattooed on his arm, which might have been a good thing. With a guy this dumb, imagine this scenario: He forgets the name of the person he’s stalking and jumps into the bay, determined to swim to...Madonna’s place. He gets turned around and washes up at—Anna Kournikova’s!
Aren’t you glad to have me back?