David Ferrer pegs a chair ump with a ball, more follies

Kudos, tennis fans—you've now conquered 75 percent of your viewing of this year's Happy Slam. (Sleepy Slam?) Here's the latest off-kilter and off-court news:

Ferrer As Assassin

Before there was Tomas Berdych brazenly refusing a handshake post-body shot, there was David Ferrer, that diminutive but spunky Spaniard, who clocked not his second-round foe, Ryan Sweeting, but the chair umpire himself with a serve return. (No word on whether the ump shook his hand later.) See it here:

Ferrer won that match, and gets Novak Djokovic next in the quarterfinals, but the karmic quality of tennis prevailed elsewhere: T-Berd bowed out in four sets to Rafael Nadal in his ensuing bout.

Thanks to [@DenWNg for the Ferrer snippet.]  

Verbal Volleys

"To be honest, I’m kind of used to it, you know, especially with Vika [Azarenka]. We know each other for many years. About Maria [Sharapova], I mean, what can I say? For sure that is pretty annoying and it’s just too loud.”  

—Agnieszka Radwanska, somehow okay by her friend's prolonged coo but not okay with another's brief shriek

"I see many women’s players being extremely sort of tense and fist pumping after every single point. It’s to me pretty surprising to see that, I guess. I have fist pumped maybe five times at the most, and they do that in one game. It’s incredible to see how intense they are.”  

—Roger Federer, speaking about ... most every WTA pro

Thanks to [@TheSliceTweets for the Fed bit.]  

Djoko Is Loco For the Year of the Dragon

Novak Djokovic took time—well, five seconds—out of his busy schedule to (sort of) wish his Chinese fans a happy New Year.What he did say, or tried to, was "I love you, China." My informant tells me that he didn't pronounce the nation's name so well. What he did do was show, just like Li Na, he will stick with his partner Jelena Ristic whether she is skinny or fat.  

Thanks to [@raykwaTO for the Novak New Year clip.]  

Girl Just Wants To Have Fun

Wilson Tennis has some quirky-funny ads on Tennis Channel during this Aussie Open, and some fun hotel-room spots, previously with Milos Raonic and now with Victoria Azarenka. It's just Vika being Vika.

Mercifully, she doesn't grunt once.

It Must Be Love

Far flung from Melbourne, NHL star Alex Ovechkin just snapped up a new Virginia home, for a paltry $4.2 million. Proof that it pays to be ... Maria Kirilenko.  

Thanks to [@lynnlovestennis for the @ovi8 tip.]  

—Jonathan Scott

Follow me on Twitter @jonscott9.