Serena Williams powered her way to third Australian Open a short while ago (she clubbed 17 going on 28 Nicole Vaidisova in straight sets), and it was kind of ugly. But so what? 'Rena the Warrior Princess isn't interested in beautiful, and she isn't interested in artful. Powerful? Maybe she raises an approving eyebrow at that one. Dramatic? Bingo - you win first prize, but be warned: It's be a facial, courtesy of a 'Rena first serve!
After the match, I was curious about a specific issue, so I rolled into the presser shortly after dumping a full glass of red wine all over my desk and computer. It so resembled a murder scene that freaked out Aussie media officials cordoned off my desk with yellow police tape. Who cares, my stupid computer has been misbehaving anyway.
The post-match presser turned out to be the best on 'Rena had given in a long time. There was no trace of arrogance in her words or delivery. She resisted the urge to go coy. She scaled back on the naif ingenue impersonations with remarkable discipline. For a girl with a big personality and physical dimensions to match, she works the turf usually reserved for Valley girls and other icons of the out-to-lunch set with surprising ease. Today, she seemed measured and projected something that we haven't seen that often from her, thoughtfulness.
Matt Cronin asked her how far she'd come since the first tournament of the year, Hobart (Serena won just two matches there), and she said she was very glad she had played Hobart, despite losing in the quarters to Sybille Bammer). "I could see the rust shedding from my game - literally."
Nice turn of phrase, eh?
Matt followed up with a question about how she got Vaidisova stretched out, enabling 'Rena to take command of the points. and conceded that she had seen Vaidisova play a lot. "So she seemed to have a plan against me as well, and we both just kind of. . . had plans."
Out of context, it may be hard to understand why that would have led me to ask a question that came to me on an impulse: Just how much does time and effort does Serena spend on the X's and O's of strategy before any given match? Her answer: "I approach the game differently. I focus on me. I know maybe what are my opponent's weaknesses going into the match. But I don't focus like, Okay, I'm going to hit three balls to the backhand and then I'm going to hit one over here! I don't do that. That's too much thinking in it. . . . " 'Rena paused, then added, forcefully, "Serena Williams is not a thinker. Serena Williams is a tennis player. Got that? And that's what I do best."
She paused, someone called out, "Explain more!"
She grinned. "Actually, I got that out of the Ricky Bobby movie. 'Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver.'"
It was a playful interlude in which Serena showed an uncustomary degree of openness. But the point was made, and I'm going to take it further, at the risk of second guessing Serena. It's hard to imagine anyone not talking at all about an opponent before a match; that would be like going to a New York dinner party and not talking about whatever stupid movie everyone is ga-ga over at the moment. But I find it hard to imagine that she thinks about strategy, or has Oracene Williams (her mother and coach) drawing up tactical plans on some chalkboard back at the hotel. 'Rena don't need no stinkin' strategy; just gimme the danged ball!
So how do you want to play Vaidisova, Serena? Gimme the danged ball!
Now, going out there match after match in a questionable state of fitness, stepping onto the court like a jaywalker during rush hour traffic, getting into a tiebreaker jam without wondering - or giving a hang - about what happens next seems to serve another purpose. It is perfect formula for creating drama, which is usually also a cry for attention - something kid sisters like Serena know all about. It's easy to skim over the fact that while she may be 'Rena the Warrior Princess, her basic identity may be closer to 'Rena the Drama Queen.
You know, it's too bad that the Drama Queen role has been captured by a tiresome string of petulant celebrities and a growing body of small-potatoes public whiners. It reduces the potential grandeur of the role. Hey, world, Catherine the Great was a Drama Queen too! Who would you rather get in a cat fight with, Kate Moss (I'll even throw in the tubby rocker boyfriend) or Catherine the Great? Let's remember that Drama Queen is a role as big as you can make it (Billie Jean King has always been one); earthy, bombastic, deluded, massively over-confident - that all works, too. In fact, it's old-school Drama Queen, meaning probably both bigger and better. And now we're getting into 'Rena territory.
I asked Serena, "There's an awful lot of drama swirling around you these days. Do you thrive on that?"
She answered: Yeah, you know, whatever I do, it's dramatic or in the papers or it's positive or it's negative or it's funny or it's not. I guess, you know, some people are just like that. Like I said, I don't read articles, I just - so I don't really know what's going on or being said. Just only things that I hear and people tell me. And I always try to tell people not to say things but you always have one little birdie that doesn't listen. I don't know if I even answered your question.
(I suspect that what she was trying to say in typical DQ fashion, was: I gobble up every word of copy ever produced about mebut I'll be danged if I admit it! But that's okay. What's a Drama Queen without hauteur?)
So I pressed on: "Do you enjoy having all the drama and people who are second-guessing you or confronting you with the issues people are talking about?"
She said, "I love doubters. You know, I have a lot of people even close to me who doubt. I love doubters. More than anything what I love, besides obviously winning, is proving people wrong. Ever since I was young, even when I came on tour, it was, Venus, Venus, Venus. Oh, and the little sister. My whole goal I life was just to prove people wrong. And that's one thing I enjoy so much."
Someone then jumped in, pointing out that Serena's father, Richard, had always maintained the Serena would be the better player.
'Rena smiled, aware that she'd been caught out. She threw in something about her father always having been her Number One fan.
But that's besides the point. I say that without a flicker of rancor or criticism: The truth has nothing to do with anything for a DQ of Serena's dimensions.