O-M-G. I don't even know what to make of Justine Henin's appearance Sunday on a telethon for CAP48, a Belgian non-profit organization that raises money and awareness for people with disabilities. (Think Jerry Lewis Labor Day telethon.) Her song-and-dance routine was "American Idol" meets "Dancing with the Stars" meets Eurovision:
Let's start with the hair: Tousled ponytail or Swiffer Duster affixed to her head? You make the call. Then there was the suit, just one vest shy of Saturday Night Fever. The awkward finger-snapping sequence, the Ashlee Simpson lip-syncing, the lyrics spouting joyful sentiments like, "Open your heart/Open your mind/Open your soul." Add in a partner that looked like a cross between Carlos Leon (father of Madonna's daughter, Lourdes) and Olympic speedskater Apolo Anton Ohno, and you've got a spectacle on steroids! (Just a metaphor, kids. No steroids in use here.) Too bad Henin's trademark grace, timing and footwork were nowhere to be seen. If Henin is intent on becoming Belgium's Next Top Pop Star once her tennis career is over, she needs a Carlos Rodriguez-style "Idol" coach, pronto.
—Sarah Thurmond