LONDON—People really are the same all over, aren’t they? Gathering the tabloids and their respectable older-brother papers this morning, I eavesdropped on a conversation between the shopkeeper and a sanitation worker from the neighborhood. From what I could tell, they were complaining about the time that it was taking an unnamed department or agency or company or some other no-good layabout to get around to doing something about the shop’s refrigerator, which needed to be removed. As they expressed their mutual outrage, the two men, one white, one Asian, nodded and smiled enthusiastically—it looked they had never been happier in their lives. Solidarity in complaint: It's what we were made for.
Moving on, this is Day 4 already at Wimbledon; it’s going, from my perspective, much more quickly than the French Open did. The forecast today calls for showers in the late morning, and then, in the afternoon . . . some more showers. I can’t think of anything better to do, while we wait to wait, than flip through the tabs.
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Matt Scott of the Guardian provides the blow by blow on a skirmish that’s been taking place between the AELTC and England’s health and safety department. During Andy Murray’s first match, which was played indoors because of rain, the Club announced that fans wouldn’t be allowed to watch from slippery Murray Mount (née Henman Hill) for “health and safety” reasons. That prompted a public rebuke from a top health and safety official, who said her department had nothing to do with it, and that the Club “should have made clear the decision was ‘on insurance grounds.’”
The AELTC responded by claiming that she didn’t know what she was talking about, but the Club also didn’t say that the decision hadn’t been made for insurance reasons. The win, from what I can tell, goes to the department, who didn’t want a “boy who cried wolf” situation to develop, where, when there really was a safety issue, people wouldn’t believe it.
—Andy Roddick’s parents are here to see him play for the first time, but, like Pete Sampras’s in the old days, they won’t sit in the players’ box. “They give me my space,” Roddick says. The Guardian seizes on this as proof that Britain’s most famous sporting mum, Judy Murray, is overbearing. After all, Roddick has reached three finals here, and Murray none. So there you have it, Judy. Find something better to do during the fortnight, would you?
—Simon Ronay, in a column about the money machine that is the Championships, makes this disheartening point:
“Total Top 50 players to have emerged solely through the British tennis structure in both men’s and women’s games since 1994: 1 (Tim Henman). Total cash injection from Wimbledon in that period: 476 million pounds ($761 million)”
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The Star picks up on the latest fascinating tidbit from Murray’s personal life with its headline:
ANDY: IT’S FULL SCREAM AHEAD AFTER HORROR
Murray, you see, told the press that he relaxed the night before his match by watching the faux-horror flick Scream on television. He joked yesterday that he’s hoping to see Scream II and Scream III before his next two matches.
—The paper also has a rare chance to comment on two of the country’s young women players. Laura Robson, 17, won her first Wimbledon match yesterday, but Heather Watson, suffered an elbow injury and lost. She ended the match in tears. How did the sensitive Star headline writers describe her ordeal?
SAD HEATHER GIVEN ELBOW
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The Times has the indisputable proof! A tennis ball really is slowed down slightly when the roof is over Centre Court. Rafael Nadal’s 122-mph serves reached his opponent 4 mph slower yesterday, indoors, than his 122-m.p.h serves had reached his first-round opponent in a match played outdoors. It’s the increase in humidity in the air that slows them down.
—In his column, Simon Barnes, unsurprisingly, manufactures some speculative poetics about Federer and Nadal: “Perhaps the difference is that where Federer’s need is to control space, Nadal must control time: towel down the perfectly dry arms and legs; wait till the umpire says time and count to 10 before moving; before serving, bounce the ball 10 times on your racquet and six times in your hand, and never, ever, serve or receive without plucking an arpeggio on your bum.
That way, the match moves to his rhythm: alternating passages of mayhem and calm.”
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The Express continues its mid-week comeback with this mysterious but arresting headline for Murray’s victory:
COMETH MAN, COMETH DOUR
Otherwise, there’s not much here, except news that the next AELTC chairman, Philip Brook, is getting started on a plan to put a roof over Court 1 (no date is mentioned).
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The Daily Telegraph opens its Laura Robson coverage under the headline TEENAGE KICKS, which makes me happy because it makes me think of the Undertones song of the same name, the song that the famous British DJ John Peel maintained was the best of all time. The "kicks" it describes have nothing to do with anything as wholesome as tennis, but that’s OK.
—Elsewhere, Tim Henman can be found coming to the perhaps unnecessary defense of his friend Roger Federer’s serve. Henman says the shot doesn’t “get enough credit,” and that it’s the trickiest to return because of its unpredictability and variety. He also says the best way to counter Federer’s serve is to be aggressive; if you chip it and block it back, you’re going to let him dominate.
—The Telegraph closes with a piece on how the AELTC is planning to handle the Wimbledon-Olympic double next year, with just 20 days in between. The idea is to make the two events as unique as possible. The players will wear national colors, not whites, at the Games, and there will be different—though still dark—colors surrounding the courts, as well as different sponsor logos on the grounds.
The head groundsman, Eddie Seward, says he anticipates no problems with the grass, which are reseeded immediately after Wimbledon every year anyway. Ten courts will be used, but not the new Court 3; the Royal Box will be reserved for something called the “Olympic family"; and All England members will have to go without their usual “privileged” access to tickets.
OK, I’m now officially looking forward to seeing the Club in its Olympic costume.
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The Mail claims that its nickname for Milos Raonic is well known, but it’s news to me: the “Maple Leaf Missile.” I’m not sold.
—Columnist Charles Sale, citing HSBC’s sponsorship of a Borg-Mac exhibition on Court 18 here last year, and the five-year agreement that it's set to sign with the AELTC, speculates that the bank will soon be the closest thing that Wimbledon has had to a title sponsor, without having to use such a degrading term.
—The Mail’s recommedation for spectators today? A “double helping of gorgeous Julia Goerges,” who plays singles and dubs this afternoon.
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The Mirror has a message of encouragement for Laura Robson from her fans:
TELL LAURA WE LOVE HER: NOW BRIT MUST SILENCE SHREIKING SHARAPOVA!
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The Sun was there for Venus Williams' match yesterday, and they had their priorities straight: “Did you see that fit middle-aged bird getting everyone excited on Centre Court yesterday?” the paper asks. “No, not Kimiko Date-Krumm. Sexy Kim Cattrall was in the house as a fan.”
—The tabs knows how to exaggerate a headline, sure, but this one is harder to explain:
NADAL IS HOT STUFF
Why? Apparently, because Rafa got “hot under the collar” when he was told that he would have to play under the roof yesterday. How does “hot under the collar” turn into “hot stuff,” exactly? Why am I asking? It’s Wimbledon, it’s the Sun.
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Finally, there was another Japanese woman who did pull off a close win yesterday, Misaki Doi, who sent Bethanie Mattek-Sands and her eye-black and her goo-goo gaga act mercifully packing. How does the Mail pay respects to the young lady’s breakthrough win?
DOI-NG IT FOR JAPAN
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That’s all for today. The sun—not the Sun—is out right now, so I will make haste to the Club while it shines. Looking out for Tsonga vs. Dimitrov today—and keeping an eye on everyone else as well.