Italy’s Flavia Pennetta releases a new autobiography Dritto al Cuore (Straight to the Heart) where she takes on variety of subjects, including her busted romance with former Roland Garros champion and longtime boyfriend Carlos Moya, whom she thought she was going to marry.

Pennetta discusses the heartbreak she went through after she discovered that he was having affair with Spanish TV presenter Carolina Cerezuela (who is now the mother of Moya’s child). Pennetta said that she lost 10 pounds, felt herself melting in the public spotlight and later discovered that she completely lost her sense of self in the relationship.

"I put everything aside to support him," she said. "If you count the times I did it, probably the number is in itself ridiculous. My passion was him, I gave myself completely, and I lost my balance …People felt sorry for me and I could not even defend myself. It was as if I had lost my taste for things. I was trying to be numb towards life, not to feel pain. I did not even feel physical [pain]. A silly example: even when I was waxing, I did not even feel anything."

Pennetta also discusses a number of WTA players, including Venus Williams whom she says is "scary, stronger than anyone else. A legend. A wall." The Twitter account of @enricomariariva says she also mentions that it disturbs her that when Jelena Jankovic enters the court she "wears make up, perfect hair and perfume. When she leaves, she's the same." She says that unlike former No. 1 Ana Ivanovic, she did not have the results of those who "quit everything for tennis. Will she be able to handle it when she finds out that there’s more to life? I doubt it."

Pennetta, who realized her dream by cracking the Top 10 for the first time last year, also added that she once challenged the ‘unsportsmanlike’ Anastasia Rodionova to fight during a doubles match.