Actually maybe the best way for anyone to appreciate the differences between Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal - after absorbing their contrasting racquet-work – is experiencing their contrasting tongue work. They are, truly, as different as snowy Switzerland and sunny Mallorca. The Mighty Fed has a touch of winter in his blood, which helps explain why he likes to escape to Dubai for his R&R. Nadal (christened Guns ‘N Buns by Tennis magazine’s enterprising reporter, Sarah Unke) has the sunny gene. You almost feel guilty about tennis having dragged this kid away from a beach soccer game somewhere beneath the rattling palms.
Of course, the differences go deeper. The Mighty Fed is outright ambassadorial, Jet Boy is downright out-to-lunch. Don’t cringe, Nadalites: Federer inspires respect, Nadal inspires affection. How else could it be for a kid who sounds like he’s about to blow a loogie across the room every time he coughs up an “R”, and prefaces every answer he gives in a press conference question with a furrowed brow, a quizzical expression, and a quick glance at whoever happens to be acting as his lifeboat that day on the heaving sea of the English language?
TMF pressers tend to inspire, or turn into, lofty contemplations of the state of the game and the nature of a dominant champion’s mind. Nadal’s pressers are like the sixth-period lunch in 9th grade. The wisecracks and mashed potatoes start flying pretty quickly, and you end up having more laughs – pure, good fun – than you got out of a career’s worth of press conferences by Ivan Lendl. Jet Boy just won! Really? Wow, let’s go to the presser and laugh our a off!
So Steve Tignor and I made our way over to Nadal’s presser after he took Juan Carlos Ferrero to the woodshed for a 6-1,6-1 beating today, and he didn’t disappoint.
Some deadbeat began asking him about how he was hitting his forehand, and his record against his next opponent, Chela. Get this clown out of here! Somebody finally asked Nadal how his new passion for The Game of the Living Dead (aka "golf") was playing out. Did he play well this week?
Cue furrowed brow, puzzled expression, glance at his agent, Benito Perez-Barbadillo. Jet Boy looked a little like TMF does when he talks about the GOAT issue, and he started fiddling with his stringy hair:
“Well, first day, disaster, second day probably verrrrhy bad, and the third day, I played better. I know a little bit more the course and I play little bit better. I play my handicap. But tomorrow. . .” He looked at us gravely, as if giving his word on a crucial matter. “Tomorrow I gonna improve.”
Cue gales of laugher.
Someone then asked for confirmation that he plays right-handed. He answered:
“Yeah, yeah, for sure. . . Well, with the left, I can't play. I try one day or two days, and I don't have coordination. Coordination is good.” Laughter rolled again. “Well, so, I don't have coordination. I use the right-handed for everything, no, everything. Just for play tennis and football I use the left.
I asked him how he, as such an active, fidgety person, could play such a quiet game. He replied.
“That's good for me because I love -- I prefer to play football, some match. I prefer play football, play matches on football with the friends. When I was young, I played one team. But right now, it's difficult play football, no? It's a little bit dangerous for the injuries and what. When I am playing golf, that's good for me because I can relax. I am in a very nice place always because the golf course always is very, very nice, very beautiful. And that's it, no? When I go, I'm in the golf, I can play four hours consecutive with calm. So that's good.”
I followed up by pointing out that a great deal had been made of TMF’s relationship with Tiger Woods. Does he feel like he has to improve his handicap to meet Tiger?
Cue furrowed brow, etc. etc.
“Well, I met him in Shanghai this year, no? He was very nice. I was in the tournament in Shanghai when he was playing, and in the last day, the final day. And he say me hello when he's on the match (course). During the match, he come to me and say hello. So that was very, very nice for me because I admire him a lot,"
Then someone brought up the subject of David Beckham, whom Jet Boy says he admires. Heck, this kid admires everyone. Bring 'em on: Martha Stewart, Ron Artest, Paris Hilton, Etienne de Villiers, Rosie Ruiz, Terrel Owens, Angelina Jolie, Hannibal Lecter, Floyd Landis, Brittney Spears, Tiger Woods, whomever. This kid has a lot of Will Rogers in him. It's part of his appeal.
A photographer whom I didn’t recognize had been fidgeting around, dying to ask Jet Boy a question, and he finally got his chance: “If golf were played on clay, would you expect better results?”
Cue drum roll and crash of cymbal.
Puzzled, Jet Boy asked him to repeat the question. Dude was so nervous that he barely got through it the second time, but Nadal understood.
“No, I mean the bunker is difficult for me.”
Maybe this kid is smarter than we think. . .
