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by Pete Bodo

Mornin', tennis fans. Most of you are well aware of my aversion to the dark art of "bracketology," so these Grand Slam previews present certain, shall we say, "obstacles?" Over at ESPN yesterday, I fooled around with the idea of picking first-round matches I'd rather not see, for any number of reasons. Bobby C. gave you a well-informed, deftly written preview of the WTA side of the draw yesterday, so today I'm going to do something whimsical and get in touch with the epic poet deep in my soul.

I'm going to write a rhyming couplet for each of the top 16 men's seeds, followed by a brief comment on his chances to win the title. Whoops, with Rafael Nadal playing the way he is, that might be a fool's errand, so maybe I'll just try to put his chances in perspective. I notice in reviewing the seeds that John Isner and Sam Querrey are, respectively, seeded 17 and 18, and being an American journalist, I just can't bring myself to leave them out:

16 Juan Carlos Ferrero:

In the shadow of Rafa, he's fretted and stewed

But he's lost his edge and learned how to lose.

15 Thomas Berdych:

He popped up in Miami, a brand-new man

But he's done that before, and gone back in the can.

14 Ivan Ljubicic

He emerged from the desert with his first Masters shield

But in too many majors he's been too quick to yield.

!100230358  #13 Gael Monfils

He's a bit of a hot-dog, but unlike his peers

He gives his countrymen reasons to cheer.

12 Fernando Gonzalez

Flashy, erratic, gifted and bold

Watch him clock winners, then watch him fold.

11 Mikhail Youzhny

Forever remembered for his Miami salute

He could hammer a Tsonga, or go out to Mahut.

10 Marin Cilic

A terror on hard courts, he's strong and tall

But on slow red clay, he's more  likely to stall.

9 David Ferrer

Steady and ready, he stays in the hunt

But when it most matters, he's likely punt

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8 Jo-Wilfried Tsonga

He's got marvelous touch for a guy of his size

But his mind seems to wander, he loses sight of the prize.

7 Fernando Verdasco

He's playing his best, he's been downright uppity

But his chances are slim, he'll be one tired puppy.

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6 Andy Roddick**

His prep for the French may appear to be crazy,

No matches on clay, he'll be fresh as a daisy!

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5 Robin Soderling

He may torment Rafa, but his Grand Slam fate

Is to always get Roger, early or late.

4 Andy Murray

Neil Harman will tell you, Andy is struggling

While Gasquet prepares for a clay-court mugging.

3 Novak Djokovic

Allergic to pollen, dust and feathers,

Novak just can't seem to get it together.

2 Rafael Nadal

Carefully plotting a return to his throne,

Roger move over, or you'll be overthrown!

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1 Roger Federer

The career Slam, it sure feels nice

So why feel the pressure, just roll the dice.

17 John Isner

He can't get a good burger, milk shake or fries,

But this trip to Europe's been a pleasant surprise.

18 Sam Querrey

John is his buddy, they're always together,

But which one's the wingman, and which one will do better?

Alright, everyone, you take it from here. You're invited to add too or improve upon (that should be easy) this start with couplets of your own. With any luck, we can fill the entire draw!