[Steggy's Note: This morning, Pete's covering an ESPN gig at the Waldorf-Astoria on Chang/Lendl at the FO. Expect Belgian musings from him this afternoon or evening. In the meantime, however...] **
Well, we didn't quite get everything done over the Holiday break but we did okay and y'all seemed to have a good time - off and on topic. Quick housekeeping note: send photos of yourselves to Steggy, so we can keep our Monday Net Post "Who's That Poster?" tradition going. After publishing so many pictures of your fellow Tribe members, we are no longer accepting self-consciousness or modesty as an excuse. You're Hott and you know it, and even if you don't know it we know it, and it isn't even about being Hott, it's about community, so put that cellphone camera to work!
For our final year-end feature, we're publishing the Year-End Armadillo Awards (YEAA!), acknowledging the contributions so many of you have made to TennisWorld, and the degree to which you've made this a more interesting, stimulating, informative, enjoyable place than we ever could have made it on our own. So let's get right down to business. This is a combination of nominations by your fellow posters, and a smattering of our own. Thanks to all who submitted nominations!
Most likely to make you LOL -Liron (Ms) Rubin
Sweetest poster - Vanfan
The Mick Jagger "I am a Transcendent International Rock Star" Award - MarieJ
Best moniker - Fake Birkenstocks (Bill)
Best suppressor of his/her raging, out-of-control, inner KAD - Tari
Best wisecrack ("Bouquets of Thongs") - Mrs. Santa
Most likely to break a heart (or four) in 2007 (one of roughly 26 similar nominations, employing terms like "playah", "Rogue", "Heartbreaker", "Smooth Operator" - Ray Stonada
Most Loyal - Samantha
The Fidel Castro "It Ain't a Proper Speech Until you Hit the Seventh Hour" Award - Bob
Best Channeling of Excess Testosterone - Temes
The James Blake "You Can't Possibly be that Nice" Award - Sherlock (male division) and AmyLu (female division)
Most likely to have a bumper sticker that reads: "You can have my keyboard when you pry my cold,
dead fingers off it" - Steggy
Venus and Serena Williams Conspicuous Absence Award - JJ (male division) Lanterne Rouge (female division)
Class President - Todd and in Charge
Rolex "Best-Timed Objectification of a Former Player" Award - Rosangel
Most Intriguing moniker - Veruca Salt (Dark Arts League)
Most popular - Temes (male division), Momofan (female division)
The Werner Von Braun "As a Matter of Fact, I am a Rocket Scientist" Award - Dunlop Maxply
Poster most likely to be arrested for committing espionage against the United States on behalf of Sweden - Samantha
Poster(s) more likely to publish a Micinese dictionary on-line at TW to help the poor lurkers at TW -
Momofan and Steggy
Poster most likely to be invited at the champions party at wimbledon to give Roger a new jacket
bearing star signs, laurel wreaths, leaping dolphins and planetary symbols - Tim
Class Clown - Temes
Poster most likely to apologize profusely and plead "insanity" after writing a thoroughly lucid commentary - Cyandream
Most charming KAD - Momofan
Most likely to wear stiletto heels at Wimbledon, thereby providing much-needed aeration to the court - Sanja
Most impressive lurker breakout - Chris Lewis (male division) Annabelle (female division)
Most Team Spirit: D-Wiz (in a dead heat with, oh, 40 others)
Most likely to make the NFL at Quarterback - Amylu
Most likely to explode from sheer excitement while alternating between tennis and football broadcasts - Jess
The "Single-Beveled Sashimi Knife Award (for Sharpest Poster)" Award - Lucy
Class hunk - Sam
Least likely to quit college and go to work in an abattoir: Momofan
Most likely to get fired for posting while on the company dime - You know who you are. . .
Most likely to cook with gasoline - Pete
Best Personality - FoT
Best new doubles team - Lorraine and Lisa
The "Three years at TW and all I get is this stinkin' watch?" Award - Ruth
Most likely to miss an appointment with the Dean of Faculty by 16 hours and use the excuse: But I always set my clock to Australian Time once the tournament starts! - MMY
The Cap'n Safin "I Sure am Good When I Decide to Show Up" Award - Skip
The "I love tennis, honest, but my Colts are driving me nuts" Award - Ryan
Most patient - Steggy
Best turn of phrase (Federer plays "full-flight tennis") - Matt Zemek
The Dimitry Tursunov "I can't stay away from the exclamation mark key!" Award - MarieJ
Best One-Liner ("When did Seles and Navratilova join the cast of Jesus Christ, Superstar?") - Vanfan
The "TW Gringo Especiale Dean Martin" Award - Tim
Class Guru - Creig Bryan
Most eloquent proponent of old-school ways and games - Nancy J.
Fiercest heart (for her defense of R. Nadal) - Daylily
Biggest statement of TW love (for creating the "I'm Going to Estoril!" contest) - Miguel Seabra
The "I'm a conservative, very proper girl who just happens to like really sexy shoes.Honest!" Award - Tari
Moniker of the Year (Kolya the Obscure) - Ptenisnet**
The "Creator of Sumerian Codes Extraordinaire" Award - Rosangel
Poster with biggest Wilanders (for sending such a sweet "come hither" picture) - Sam
Class alien - Jelena Jankovic
The "Come, on, people, get real" Award - Abbey
Poster most likely to add LOL to his/her comment - Tim
Most coincidental lurker Award - MissTari
Best phrase ("parity of mediocrity") - Nancy J.
Most mind-blowing hypothesis (There's no such thing as mental toughness!) - Bob
Most likely to get Sanja, AmyLu, Rosia and Tari in big, big trouble on a night on the town - Lucy
Most likely to bust out of the cube farm - Sapphisto
Most likely to cause an anonymous/double post - Tari.
Tony Roche "Do the Right Thing with No Fanfare" Award - Ptenisnet
MVP - Steggy
Most likely to do heavy-duty research project on Nick Bollettieri alumni - MMY
Most likely to be caught innocently browsing Chucho's shirtless pics: Andrew
The Blade Runner "Most Futuristic Moniker" Award - Paranoid Android
The Earl Warren "Best Judgment" Award (except when under the influence) - D-Wiz
The Marat Safin "Most Forgivable Playah" Award - Ray Stonada, Sanja, D-Wiz, and Sam (in a dead heat)
Most likely to die laughing while reading these nominations - Pete
Most chilling observation ("I don't have time for Vaidisova. I'm still too engrossed in
following Monique Viele's progress.") - Myskina+Trains=Tolstoy
Most Likely to flame Matt Cronin just because they can - D-Wiz and Lucy (statistical dead heat)
Best Pot-Stirrer - Pete, of course (ed. note - objection!!!!! PB)
The Paris Hilton "I couldn't care less about what you think" Award - Mici
Class Cheerleader - FoT (Elder division), Samantha (Jr. Elder division).
Best YEAA! nominations - Liron (Ms.) Rubin
Most Athletic - Chris Lewis
Well, we could go on. . . an on. You've all made such welcome contributions to TW that I have to go against all my better instincts and declare, "Everybody gets a trophy!" In fact, please post any glaring omissions you think we made down in the Comments section. And to wrap this up, we're naming TW's posters-of-the-year:
Female Division: MarieJ - Some posters may make you laugh harder, some may blow you away with more force owing to their analytical powers. But for some reason (surely you've noticed?),Marie falls upon the Comments page like a giant ray of sunlight coming through your window in the morning. Whether she's weighing in on a Federer vs. Nadal debate, or merely describing how she fooled her parents after a night of being hurled into fountains in Spain, each of her comments has the feel of a much anticipated note from a close friend, all the more impressive because of its breathless, "I've got to get this off before I catch my train, but I wouldn't think of putting it off" quality. MarieJ - now that you're a celebrity, picture please!
Male Division: Dunlop Maxply - Sometimes, we need someone to remind us that TW is basically a tennis blog, without making anyone feel like it's just a tennis blog. Dunlop brings a lot of game to his analysis, a great ability to listen (even when he disagrees), clear, clean prose, and a great, superbly informed perspective that draws on the past without getting stuck in it. We already saw your picture, Dunlop. Send money.
Later, dudes and dudettes!