Yeah, I know I vowed never to use that clichéd headline again. But John McEnroe will be commentating for ESPN during the critical USA vs. Croatia Davis Cup tie this weekend, meaning he’ll be evaluating his kid brother Patrick’s performance as the U.S. team captain. I don’t know if that’s going to be weird or fun or intriguing—or appalling: “Folks, you are privileged to be watching a coach who is now being mentioned in the same breath as Harry Hopman, Sparky Anderson, and Vince Lombardi.”

Just kidding. It should be interesting, though, to say the least (my specialty).

TennisWorld caught up with John McEnroe via an ESPN conference call about an hour ago, as he was about to jump a plane at Newark for his flight to Carson, Calif. I was relieved to hear that in the obligatory “How to Fix Davis Cup” portion of the call, Big Mac—a major lobbyist for format change—did not advocate, as some do, staging the whole shooting match in one place and time every year.

I couldn’t imagine anything that would be a greater assault on the value and beauty of the competition, despite the unethical shenanigans some home squads pull vis-à-vis surface and other issues. “There’s something magical about going to, like, Zimbabwe,” said McEnroe, who had done just that in his brief tenure as Cup captain. “For them and for us.”

Does big brother John bleed for Patrick, whose quest to win a Cup for the U.S. has repeatedly been frustrated? You bet:

“Who would have known that in his first match as captain, Pat would go into Switzerland and go up against a team that had Federer—who nobody had yet heard of?” he said. “Pat’s had some tough matches, what with Andre {Agassi} unavailable and Pete {Sampras} retiring. He’s had younger players who are still finding their way, and going to Spain to try to beat those guys on clay {the U.S. lost in last year’s final at Seville} is a tall order.”

Now, of course, Pat and his posse are in another unenviable position: The U.S. is a clear favorite over a squad that, in theory, it ought to wipe out. But this dangerous Croatian squad features Ivan Ljubicic, who, in addition to still being unknown to most Americans, is probably playing the best tennis on the tour right now after Roger Federer (Ljubicic has been in four finals already this year).

Nikki Pilic, the Croatian coach, put it best when he said, “Officially and obviously, the Americans are big favorites. But in Davis Cup there are no rules.”

The final handicapping word goes to Big Mac: “The key for the U.S. may be that Andre makes you work so hard to win, and playing Andy takes a lot out of you too. So if Croatia plays Ljubicic and {Mario} Ancic in the singles and doubles {the pair won an Olympic bronze}, and the tie does come down to the third day—when push comes shove, we’d have the physical advantage.”

I’ll be posting an announcement regarding TennisWorld’s coverage of this tie tomorrow.