I'm Going to DisneyW- Estoril!

Wow. Thanks for the record-breaking number of entries on the “Estoril” post; this was partly due, no doubt, to the involvement of TennisWorld’s Spiritual Advisor, Miguel “Mikey” Seabra, and his kind offer to distribute 10 pairs of tickets out to the winners of our Best/Worst contest.

Mikey has sweetened the deal further and here’s the plan. If you’re entry is one of the winning 10, you live somewhere other than Portugal, and you want to attend, you need to email me ASAP at the following address: Tennisworld@tennis.com.

Your email should include your full name, your contact info for the next few days (email, telephone number,etc.) and the day you’d like to attend. You must bring your passport (duh!) or identity card to the tournament, and be willing to post a comment on the tournament at TennisWorld, or have your comment incorporated into an upcoming post.

Once Mikey knows how many TW shock troops are attending, he’ll work out a VIP-grade package, that will probably include a meeting with Marat Safin, visits to the player and VIP lounges, attendance at post-match press conferences. . . the whole deal.

BTW, for all of you who are dying to drink more deeply of Miguel’s tennis expertise and wisdom, he’s promised to be our Estoril Bureau Chief during the tournament. He’s going to be busy, but he’ll share some commentary and stories with us, starting on Monday or Tuesday.

So with out further ado: The winner of the Name-That-Player (the one serving on the Centralito court that accompanies the “Estoril” post) contest is Victor. Get a load of how hardcore this dude is. This is his original post:

**

This comment sent Miguel scurrying back to his slide sheets to check the photo and sure enough – the picture was taken in 2004, not 2005, and it is indeed Chela.

Congrats, Vic.

Now, for our 10 top Best/Worst entries. Note that these are not in any particular order. We just picked 10. A quick word about criteria: We felt that our winners ought to reflect a range of subjects (we must have had 15 entries on Roger Federer, but only one on Davis Cup), as well as a range of approaches, from the humorous to Inside Tennis geeky.

We liked entries that contained strategic, technical, or record-based elements, as well as ones that were either really minimalist or really complex. We ruled entries that went overboard on humor, but liked others that had at least some. It was, in the end, very tough to choose – partly because only real aficionados had the horsepower to come up with 10 items (or only they had enough time on their hands to bother trying!).

1 – Poppy on The Mighty Fed

Best:

1. The way he plays tennis (brilliant, dazzling all-court style)
2. His humanity, niceness, kindness (that's why his opponents wilt before him)
3. His ruthlessness when it counts (that's why he doesn't sweat)
4. His relationship with Mirka (aw shucks!)
5. His fashion sense--impeccable.

Worst:

1. That he has the habit of saying "It's a pity..."
2. That he shanks his forehands because he insists on playing with such a small racket head
3. That he hasn't won a Grand Slam yet
4. That he hasn't integrated the two-handed backhand into his arsenal of shots.
5. That his face isn't as beautiful as Marat Safin's.

Poppy also had a clever entry on Estoril, containing which included this Best: “The way my mispronunciation of Estoril rolls off my tongue” - and these three Worsts:
3. Because of the long rallies, I may never make it to the beach.
4. Because of the long rallies, I may never get to sightsee.
5. Because of the long rallies, I may never get to sleep.

2 –Steggy on Estoril

Best:

1. Bacalao
2. Any other food you might come across, especially seafood.
3. Affordable accommodations with great views.
4. Climate for seeing and doing.
5. If you have enough to drink, not knowing a word of Portuguese will cease to be a problem.

Worst:

1. No Cartoon Network or (even worse) Boomerang.
2. Bacalao on the 7th day.
3. Extended rallies in hot sun after having too much to drink in order to combat language barrier.
4. (Lack of) chili dog availability at Grandstand snack bar.
5. No Americans in the draw.

Note: Mikey sure straightened out her hash on the Cartoon Network slur!

3 – Isa on Davis Cup

Best:

1) It's the largest (in terms of countries competing) international single sport competition in the world - 'nuff said.
2) Coaching is allowed on the sidelines, during changeovers and injury time outs.
3) 4 weekends a year is better than 1 week at the Olympics every 4 years.
4) Players are united as a team and win as a country.
5) During this lackluster period of American tennis, the USA still leads with 31 DC championships.

Worst:

1) Even allowing coaching doesn't stop players from choking or failing to correct their technique.
2) Blown off by top players once they reach a certain age (see Tim Henman, Andre Agassi).
3) Disputes over money when they should be playing for honor alone (see Filippo Volandri).
4) Home team is at a great advantage: choosing venue, surface, ball, and most of the ticket sales going to their countrymen.
5) Dropped by ESPN entirely, worldwide TV coverage is poor, often only available in the host nation and their opponent's.

4 - Lucy on Rafael Nadal

Best:

1. He beats up on Fed. Someone has to.
2. He bravely brought the concept of tennis/equestrian crossover apparel to the world stage.
3. He's a French Open-winning Spaniard who takes grass seriously, even though it hasn't worked. Yet.
4. That lefty topspin forehand from hell.
5. He attempts to speak English to the press, even though he's still learning. This is even braver than the pirata pants. I studied Spanish and French for four years each, and there's no way I'd give a press conference in anything but English.

Worst:

1. He beats up on Fed. Someone has to, but that doesn't mean I like it.
2. He's friends with Carlos Moya. I want to be friends with Carlos Moya. Actually, I want to be "friends" with Carlos Moya.
3. He seems to be an unaccountably divisive character (those internet flame wars again). I don't understand this. I don't think it's his fault. But the flaming is irritating.
4. People who are world-beatingly successful at 18 make people who are neither world-beatingly successful nor 18 feel inadequate.
   5 The pants. Come on, man. Different isn't the same thing as stylish.

Lucy, BTW, is a two-way player. Her Federer entry contained these gems on the Best side:

3. He told Nick Paumgarten, for reasons I could not discern, that he wasn't wearing any underwear.

4. Even after becoming God, he stuck with Mirka when he could easily have acquired a Marat Safin-style players' box of 12 supermodel-hot "friends"

And this on the Worst side:

2. Economics. His lack of paid support staff represents an opportunity cost in terms of employment (demand side). Also, he effectively has a monopoly on silverware (supply side). Does he have no respect for the market?
3. This is being a little greedy, but a touch more of the Feliciano Lopez and/or Carlos Moya in his physical appearance wouldn't go astray.
   We like the way you think, and all along we thought Aussies were bland!

5- Bob on Maria Sharapova

Best:

1 - She's incredibly beautiful.
2 - Great serve, solid forehand and backhand.
3 - Great mental toughness.
4 - She inspires TV coverage and interest in tennis
5 - She dedicates herself to tennis even with her other interests

Worst:

1 - Her game is pretty boring to watch, except to admire her beauty.
2 - Her toughness and dedication are too intense and vicious.
3 -She takes too much time with her hair when she serves.
4 - She doesn't sway back and forth in that mesmerizing manner when returning serve like she did in Wimbledon of 2004. The best place for the camera was behind her watching her get ready to return serve, from any rational male perspective.
5 - She isn't my girl friend, or even a friend, and in fact has no idea who I am.
We love the way this list is eerily like Sharapova herself. Cut-to-the-chase direct and without no frills. But that last item also humanizes the list and it made us laugh.

6 – Lydia on Steffi Graf

Worst:

5. Pre-'89 hair; it summoned the soul of Mufasa
6. Wimbledon '92 champion's dinner dress; almost as bad as Andre's hair
7. '99 Wimbledon; Lindsay winning on grass is an oxymoron
8. Agreeing to play mixed doubles with Johnny Mac in the first place
9. Hiding that smile from us; it should've shined in '88

Best:

5. Sports Illustrated photo spread; Anna and Maria, go back to Kindergarten
6. Waiting to date Andre until after he lost his hair
7. In the '99 French final: "Are we gonna play tennis or we gonna be talking a little bit?"
8. Four complete grand slams! Can't top that Martina KADS.
9. Those eyes; they speak nothing yet say everything all at the same time.

I decided against editing this because the actual way Lydia wrote it makes me think there’s some kind of interesting psychological stuff going on here, although I wouldn’t hazard a guess as to what it might be. Note how she goes with the Worst first and the Best second (one of only three or four posters to do that), and how she reverse orders the numbers 1-5, so that her most powerful asset is the last thing we read – making it the most memorable.

I wish Lydia were my teacher when I was a kid.
This was one of many fine posts on Steffi; Daniel Stern and Tina Lyons get honorable mention.

7 – Roee on TMF

Best:

1.The five bagels he fed Lleyton in 2004.
2.The 5,000 bagels he fed Peter Lundgren prior to 2004 (Somewhat more impressive than Sally Struthers' feeding the children)
3. Mirka. Hugs Ljuby after the Miami loss, and making Roger the only down-to-earth boyfriend in a must-have-a-model/actress/singer-for-a-girlfriend tennis culture (Andre doesn't count cause he did initially marry an actress (of sorts), and Steffi isn't exactly your run-of-the-mill average Jane).
4. Going through 2004 coachless just because he really wanted Roche. Of course, if a hunch I have turns out to be true, then he wasn't really coachless and article 3 is even more impressive. Has there ever been a female coach to a top-100 male player?
5. Hey, are you gonna cry every time you're struggling with your form, have to dig deep to scratch through, win a slam and get the trophy handed to you by the greatest player of all time?

Worst:

1. You don't organize your DC-teammates to kick Rosset out and then not show up for ties when it's not really all that convenient.
2. Anyone who can get their picture changed on the ATP website every time they get a haircut must know the devil on a first-name basis.
3. Has anyone else ever managed to play a decent set with that Tour 90 racquet of his? See comment about dealings with certain other-worldly entities. I'm guessing a lot of people threw good money down the drain on that racquet.
   4.Enough with this politeness! Next time you lose to Nadal, head butt the little punk!!!
4. You couldn't let Dudi Sela win one set at last year's French? I mean, come on, we're a tiny country (not that far from Portugal, Pete, if you're reading this ;))and we get so few moments of joy since Mansdorf retired. One lousy set? Maybe a tiebreak? The guy went through qualifying, for god's sake!

Yeah, Roee, but you can’t attend the tournament in Dubai, can you? How’s that for a real world example of the UAE’s visa/visitor policy, you skeptics who went nuts because I criticized Andre and TMF for describing the place as an earthly paradise?

8 – Ian (of the Desert) on Tennis Journalism/Commentary

Best:

1. The fact that tennis journalists tend to write the BEST and most comprehensive full-length books "across-the-board" in pro sports (Johnette Howard's "The Rivalry," Wertheim's "Venus Envy," a certain Mr. B's "Courts of Babylon," etc.).

2. The palpable, crackling, simmering tension between Cliff Drysdale and Mary Carillo when they "work the booth" together. The fact that their tensions sometimes erupt into volcanic hissy-fits between each other (as during the Nasdaq, when both were debating the merits/demerits of the new "challenge" system) makes for deliciously uncomfortable tennis commentary that reminds us how entertaining commentators can still be in the broadcast realm.

3. The ability of a well-deserved Grand Slam Monstrosity/Legend like Chris Evert to write a "personal" letter of advice to Serena Williams and "publish" said letter for millions to read in her magazine.

4. The continuing willingness of great tennis journalistic talents to trundle their wares via the internet, thus giving everyday fans/observers a multitude of interactive opportunities that were unheard-of in prior times.

5. The ability of ANY tennis journalist to actually sit through an entire (past or present) press conference with Jennifer Capriati and refrain from self-mutilation due to constant responses along the lines of: "Well, you know, it's like, I just, sort of, like, just, you know, wanna, like, play, but, like, I just, sorta, you know, like, wanna play, but, like, you know, can't, but, like, I really wanna, but, like, you know, I'm like, 30 now, and sorta, you know, I wanna kinda but, like, CAN'T."

Worst:

1. The constant, post-match press conference "soft-balling" of upper echelon players due to fear of pro egos and over-restricted tour rules. The line between "Gee, how was your game, today?" and "Your game was awful today. WHY?!!" has been double-crossed again and again. Top players need to be asked the crucial and obvious questions without journalists fearing that they will become Helen Thomas-like pariahs in a presidential news gallery.

2. Whoever edits Tracy Austin's articles for MSNBC.

3. The fact that Mary Carillo has not yet written a major book about her personal experiences as a journalist/commentator on the pro tour(s).

4. The appalling lack of (pervasive) coverage of the Davis & Fed Cup competitions. The truly great tennis journalists wield a great deal of influence with core fans, and these important competitions could truly benefit from the proverbial "power of the pen (or keyboard." DISCLAIMER: # 4 does not apply to the journalist who hosts this particular forum, nor to his immediate, elite peers. But it sure as hell applies to most tennis journalists.

5. The inability of ANY tennis journalist to extract a solid "retirement confession" from Mystical Monica Seles.

Ian attached this touching note: “I can't be in Estoril for the event this year, but if my comments ARE chosen, I hereby and completely ask that any ticket-award be given to any other fan who might best benefit from the prize due to proximity to the event, etc. If my comments are singled-out, I thoroughly defer and relegate the ticket to some fan across the Atlantic. Fully and Completely. Let me act as a "sponsor" for another fan who could more readily benefit from this great ticket opportunity.”

– Evita on the U.S. Open
Best:

1 – Ushers at Louis Armstrong. If you are a reasonably attractive woman with desirable accoutrements and flash the usher a smile, you can get a seat in the lower “reserved” section.

If you are a reasonably attractive woman with desirable accoutrements and arrive bearing a German gift that can sooth a parched throat, you can get an even better seat in the lower “reserved” section.

If you are a big fat hairy ape brandishing a twenty, you can sit in the first row of the “reserved” section.

2 – The tennis-ignorant corporate ticket-holder at Arthur Ashe. Sure, you can hate them for taking the best seats and then proudly showing off their tennis savvy with pearls of wisdom like: Federer? He’s supposed to be a decent player, no…? But you can love them too, for they help carry the cost of the tournament and thoughtfully leave just when the evening’s men’s match is heating up, thereby freeing up better seats for the real tennis fans. God bless them…this would probably never happen at Wimbledon.

Disclaimer: If you are one of those rare corporate ticket holders that truly love tennis and appreciate a great match-up, please accept my apologies, and think about inviting me to join you next time.

3- The Grandstand. Nothing, and I mean nothing, beats the view and unbelievable intimacy of a first row seat behind the baseline at this gem of a stadium. Of course, I am willing to consider the possibility that Pista Central at Estoril would give it a run for its money…

4 – Rain Delays. Every cloud has a silver lining, even those above Flushing Meadows. Rain delays are directly responsible for my having experienced the speed of Lleyton Hewitt from a great seat on my beloved Grandstand court, and a night match at Arthur Ashe from third row behind the baseline. Rain delays can be a huge opportunity for the determined “I will stick it out no matter what” tennis fan. Other pluses: meeting other neurotic tennis fans and using their company to help you forget that you are watching the Krickstein-Connors match for the 12th time, even though you swore to yourself that the 11th time was going to be your last….

5 – The thrill of the hunt. You know us…the tennis fans who scour the outer courts in search of that hidden gem of a match…And what indescribable joy we experience when we know without a doubt that we have nabbed that elusive beast: THE match to be at that no one knew would be THE match until it was too late, except for tennis-savvy us!

Some of my more recent examples: The Srichaphan-Sanguinetti match from 2005, and a couple of El Ayonaoui matches at the Grandstand in past years. (I have also been to the classic matches at Arthur Ashe, like both of the Agassi-Sampras matches and last year’s Blake-Agassi match, but those were no-brainers…)

Note: Anyone can catch the fifth set of the hidden gem of the day, the real art is committing to it from the beginning!'>

Worst:

1 - Arthur Ashe Stadium. The worst stadium ever built, unless you are in the lower sections (see rain delay).

2 - The tennis-ignorant corporate ticket-holder at Arthur Ashe. As stated above, I have made my peace with them, and have even grown to appreciate the positive role they play in my tennis-viewing life…

3 – The yearly “I should have gotten an Amex card” regret. Do I really need another credit card? No. But every year when I see some lucky person with the free Amex on-site radio, updating them on all the matches and providing commentary, I always regret not having added this piece of plastic to my collection.

4 – The 2002 Food Fiasco a.k.a The Failed Cash-Grab Attempt. Witnessing the usage of post 9/11 security concerns as a justification for confiscating all food items not purchased on-site was truly the lowest point I have experienced at the U.S. Open. The moment I saw the garbage cans full of discarded food on that first morning the new rule was enforced, I knew this would be a PR nightmare and that the “no food” policy would be revoked within a few hours, and that is exactly what happened. Did the people behind this policy really think that the public would buy the “This is for your own good - You could be sitting next to an exploding ham and cheese on rye” defense? The end result: A large omelet on the collective face of the USTA, followed by a generous portion of crow and humble pie. Bon Appetit!
My sincere apologies for the length…I got carried away, this being my first time and all….

Not to worry, Evita, you’re going to Estoril! What I love about this post is the missing 5th Worst entry. Talk about someone living the U.S. Open. . .

10a - Juan Jose on Andy Roddick

Best:

1. He made that commercial where he's in an airplane and the big trophy hits him in the head as it falls from the luggage compartment. Hysterical every single time I saw it.

2. He wears Lacoste shirts. Nice.

3. The serve, as most of you mentioned it. Too bad it goes MIA sometimes.

4. His Q &A after last year's Wimbledon, with the "I just wanna go get a beer, man" line, as well as the "I'd like to punch him" line. Glorious self-deprecating humor.

5. He should do his press conferences as a stand-up monologue, with a brick wall as background and a single light on him. He could wear casual Lacoste clothes, and have a small tabouret with a glass of water. Everyone wins if this goes through.

Worst:

1. The period stretching from the final in Cincinnati (where he got beat yet again by TMF) up until today: clueless, insecure, and WAY too far behind the baseline.

2. American Express. US Open. Last Year.

3. That he didn't convince Sharapova to become his girlfriend so they could be the new (kind of) power couple in the sport. They should hook up, and have cameras following their every footstep.

4. This equation: Andy + Clay = Curia + Grass.

5. That if he wakes up every morning with this thought in his head ("if The All Mighty Fed doesn't get injured, ascends to Heaven, or retires at age 25, there's no chance I get to win another Slam in my life") he might be just right
   10b – Victor on Roland Garros

10b - Victor on Roland Garros

BEST:

1. One word: 'Guga'. His three championships speak for themselves. Has there ever been a more likeable champ? He's sorely missed on tour especially during clay court season.

2. Chang's underhand serve against Lendl in the '89 final. One of the classic moments in the history of the tournament. You gotta like this one Pete.

3. Steffi won her last slam in RG (if she had played another year or two she would have added to her stack) and Andre completed his career slam in RG.

4. Hernan Gumy. Yes, Hernan Gumy. His matches were always required viewing, he gave his all in every one of them. He must appear several times on the list of the longest matches in RG. Sadly, never got past the 3rd round (lost to Corretja in '98 9-7 in the 5th in 5:31!)

5. The Coria-Gaudio final in '04. For those of you who like a good twist this provided the biggest twist of them all! I stopped watching in the middle of the 2nd set when it seemed El Maguito was gonna wipe the floor with El Gato and when I tuned in 2 hours later they were on the 5th set!
   I made some money too, I put some money on Gaudio to win at +250. The underdog came through.

Special mention to Borg's amazing feat of winning 6 RG's and 5 Wimbledons. One of the greatest achievements ever. If only he had bothered to play the Australian or hadn't retired so young the greatest ever discussion wouldn't come up as often.

WORST

1. Firekitten's meltdown on the '99 final. This stuck in my mind so hard that I can't bring myself to fully root for her in her comeback. What a spoiled brat she was.

2. I applied for tickets this year and didn't get any. I've never been there and I would absolutely love to. But probably won't get to any time soon since I'll most likely not be in Europe this time next year. It's at times like this when you should thank your lucky stars for being a sports journalist, Pete. You go there every year!

3. Ferrero - Verkerk final in '03. The flying Dutchman got absolutely destroyed by the Mosquito in a very boring final that was meant to be played by Ferrero and Coria. Now THAT would have been a great final!

4. All of Arantxa's wins at RG. I never liked her moonballing style of play, but it did seem to be the standard in women's tennis in the mid 90's. When I say this is my favourite slam I mean on the men's side, in general, women's matches (and I might take a lot of heat for this) were very boring.
   Note: I know Arantxa was a fierce competitor and a very good athlete but I just couldn't bring myself to like her game with Steffi and Seles around.

5. The only slam that Stefan Edberg (never mind that schmuck Sampras :P) never won it. He blew his chance against a very young Chang after being 2 sets to 1 up. I was such a big fan of Edberg in my younger days and it would have been great to see him complete a career slam, he won the other 3 slams twice each.

Okay, I can count. That makes eleven. Hey. It’s my blog.

Other honorable mentions go to Sanj on Nadal (“Has the cajones to wear sleeveless and capris and pick his wedgies unabashedly”) and Plath on same (among his Worst: that “he’s not Marat Safin”). Cyandream on tennis journalism (“Gives me different perspectives on players- I will never be a Rusedski KAD but the mere fact that he's struggling with the decision to skip Indy to play DC impresses me.”) and Dan Stern on Graf (Worst: “Can you say rhinoplasty?” Also: “Baby names, Jaden and Jaz -- those sound like American Gladiators in training”). Tina Lyons, musing on Steffi: “That infuriating ball toss (worked for her, but drove me mad).”

Aleff, who wrote out-of-the-blue on Anna Kournikova, signed off with: “I know this wasn't on the topics to post about, but I felt the need to do it. I am a risk-taker, when the Advil bottle says take 2 tablets, I take 3, its these types of risks that make life interesting. I have no limitations.... I know no limitations, or well, that’s what the judge told me when I was found guilty of sexual harassment.....twice.

Poster Smith said of Steffi Graf: “Best mover in the women's game that I have ever seen” and “Despite huge pressure, did NOT get a nose job and conform to other's standards of beauty”. Ptenisnet wrote of TMF: “He actually thinks the "drop shot" is fooling around”, and he also cited Fed’s backhand overhead as a best.
Carl H. declared that the server at Estoril is Chela (but Victor got there first) and, writing about Roddick, listed his living in Austin as a Best and his living in Texas as a Worst.

VE also is a Roddick lover, and he/she wrote of Andy’s desire to improve: “It may have failed, but how often does a solid World No. 2 and Grand slam winner dump his coach and sincerely try to change his game in a bid to beat the one guy who's outslugging him. Then when it doesn't work, agree to try something else?” Among VE’s Worst was this gem: “Never learned to volley. With a serve like that, it's almost criminal no one coughTarikcough ever taught Andy to volley, or suggested he play doubles consistently to work on that issue. Teaching a 23 year old, top-tier pro to volley and play at net is like trying to teach a 40 year old to swim. It might happen, but it's going to be an ugly, painful process.”

Mark noted that Steffi Graf joined in doing the Mexican Wave during the Hingis match in Paris (It was a Best) and also liked her “Fastidiousness of personal manner on court - i.e asking for a tissue to blow her nose rather than using the towel a la Sanchez Vicario”. But he didn’t at all like that Graf “Called bad light when Kimiko Date was on the up in their '96 Wimbledon Semi-Final and Kimiko was still up for it...”

Andrew Miller liked what Nadal has done for the sinister ones: “Nadal has restored hope, pride, and glory for lefties (though not necessarily leftists) around the globe by showing, much as Tomas Muster and Marcelo Rios had, that there is nothing better than having opponent after opponent confuse you for a righty and hitting to your strength match after match,” and on the Worst side noted that “He is one celebratory fist-pump away from a bloody nose, courtesy of opponents that play him on tour (someone, please warn tournament officials to have a trainer nearby!).”

Todd and in Charge, contemplating Roddick, wrote: “His inside-out forehand (is) Still one of the best in the game when Andy is confident and has time to wind up and unload.” He balanced that nicely with this Worst: “ His backhand. Following the doctor's creed to ‘first do no harm’ (or was that the Federation's first directive in Star Trek?), Andy's straight-back cross-court backhand is as predictable as the sun and a Marat meltdown, and about as effective. Can someone show him how to loop the backswing for a bit more power, and to move his feet and shoulders to aim the ball down the line? Just asking.”

And Matt Z, the reliable one, wrote of grass-court tennis: Best, “Minimal noise”. Worst, “Worn baselines today instead of worn service lines 20 years ago (maybe baseliners can play this game--see Hewitt and Federer)”.

Thanks for playing, everyone! You know what to do next.