LONDON—We seem to have turned a corner in the weather here in the SW19—wait, sorry, I swear that’s going to be my last fatuous mention of the local postal code to prove that I know something about Wimbledon. Whatever you want to call this place, it’s sunny here at the moment, the clouds are scattered far and wide, and the forecast calls for dryness. I’ve got the papers.
OUT OF ORDER! the Telegraph screams. “Serena blasts All England Club for Williams sisters' ‘exile’ from show courts."
I saw the press conference, and “blast” is a bit strong; but she wasn’t happy about being sent out at noon to Court 2, the third show court and essentially the equivalent of the Grandstand at the U.S. Open. As much as I would like to say a tennis court is a tennis court and just keep your mouth shut and play, Serena has a point. She and her sister have been put there in the past. There are a lot of considerations in scheduling: getting the top players out of Centre Court at least once, giving fans on various courts a chance to see different stars, and perhaps most important in this case, TV considerations. ESPN begins its broadcasts live at 7:00 A.M. Eastern, which is noon here, which is when Venus and Serena have been schedule for Court 2 this week. Centre Court and Court 1 start an hour later, and I know ESPN likes to begin with an American playing live, and that the network will request it, and that its requests, considering the money it pays for the broadcast rights, aren’t ignored.
Still, it’s not like the network wouldn’t have shown Serena’s match in its entirety wherever and whenever she played. And the essential point is that a flood will sweep away the All England Club before you see Roger Federer or the men’s defending champ, Rafael Nadal, out on Court 2—in 2009, Federer played all of his matches inside cozy Centre Court. So, as I said, it may not be an earth-shattering issue, but Serena has a point.
—Now you know you’re going heavy on the Murray coverage when there’s a two-page article in a respectable paper titled, “Henman joke wearing thin for Murray,” and which is mostly devoted to Murray’s complaint that the fans at Wimbledon still yell “C’mon Tim!” every so often, just to crack themselves up at the memory. The French do it, too; last year I heard giggling cries of “Allez Amelie!” even though Amelie Mauresmo was retired and nowhere in sight.
“We were talking about it,” Murray said of he and his friends, “and asking how long it would take before the first ‘C’mon Tim.’ It came four minutes in. . . . It happens four or five times every match, and I don’t find it particularly amusing.”
—Simon Briggs has an article about the Royal Box and how its rotating cast of celebrities has become a valuable marketing tool for Wimbledon.
“The enduring appeal of Wimbledon lies less in the power of its tennis players than in what it represents: Englishness in excelsius," Briggs writes. "To maintain the extraordinary popularity of this tournament, the 500,000 people who stream through its gates each year should not just feel like consumers, they should feel like observers at a royal garden party.”
To that end, the Club makes sure that there’s always a recognizable sports star or movie star or TV personality in the box, someone whose face will appear in the papers the next morning.
The Express leads with Murray’s “C’mon Tim” derision, then runs a story about his opponent today, Ivan Ljubicic, under this headline:
I CAN BE IVAN THE TERRIBLE
Ljubo, the levelheaded veteran, is stirring the pot? Wow, what did he say, exactly, I’ve got to hear this:
“If I can perform the way I want to," Ljubicic apparently bellowed, "it is going to be a great match.”
Bulletin board words if I’ve ever heard them. Though it should be said that the two players are 3-3.
—The Express’s quote of the day, from Julia Goerges to the chair umpire in her match yesterday: “You need glasses—the first time you open your mouth, it’s to overrule on set point, and by the way, learn how to pronounce my name.”
In other words, it’s not “Julia Gorgeous.”
—If you happen to own a company, you may want to think twice about getting involved with Andy Murray. Head, Murray’s racquet sponsor, had fans send him motivational messages. Murray was supposed to pick his favorites and plaster them across his racquet bag for Wimbledon. But that would have meant that he would have to actually read those messages. Which, Murray revealed after his first-round win, he never did.
Over at the Times, it seems that Simon Barnes took his word-smithing talents over to the football field for the day; he has a non-tennis column on cheating in sports. What we’re left with, then, is an article about the process of selecting the Wimbledon ball kids. It’s quite arduous, and also involves some unfortunate terminology:
“Those that pass a final written test,” Ben Smith of the Times writes, “are moved through a high-tech training system and taught skills such as “the throw, “the kneel,” and the “no-balls signal.”
The Sun, naturally, has the scoop on Novak Djokovic’s “new love of his life—a squirrel.”
“It’s my best friend in London,” Djokovic said, “She is coming closer to me each day and maybe one day I’ll be able to feed her from my hand.”
Has anyone ever had to default from Wimbledon due to a case of rabies? Don’t make yourself the first, Nole.
—Otherwise, the Sun excels mainly with its raison d’etre, headlines:
For the “C’mon Tim” scandal, we get: TIM WITS
For Roger Federer’s easy win over Adrian Mannarino: "MANN-EATER: Fed feasts on Frenchman"
For Sabine Lisicki’s upset of Li Na, it's: LI IS LEFT FEELING A BIT SICKI
The Mirror does them one better, though, in its feelings about the Li-Lisicki match, which takes on world-changing significance in its pages:
"SABINE SPARKS CHINA CRISIS: Lisicki dumps Na and breaks a billion hearts"
The Mirror’s betting columnist, Derek McGovern, claims that Andy Murray at 5-1 to win Wimbledon is “the worst bet of all time.” McGovern doesn’t like Muzz’s chances when he has to go through “two of the greatest players to ever pick up a racquet, plus a man who lost just one match this season.”
Finally, the Mail comes through with three tidbits of interest:
—John McEnroe is paid 10,000 pounds ($16,000) a day by the BBC during Wimbledon. This was more than his old doubles partner, Peter Fleming, was offered to do the entire event. Fleming stayed home, even though home is around the corner a nearby section of London.
—Andrea Petkovic really is insane: She says she keeps her IPod on during take-offs and landings.
—And in this week’s sign of the apocalypse barely averted: McDonald’s, which has the right, as an Olympic sponsor, to open a restaurant on the Wimbledon grounds during the Games next year, says it won’t. The Big McEnroe will have to wait.
Enjoy the sun in . . . SW . . . I mean Wimbledon, wherever you're watching.