“There is nothing in it, and from now on I just think that I will keep my private life private. It is so annoying that the media and the so-called sources constantly spread the rumors. They write just what they want.”—Caroline Wozniacki, reacting in Ekstra Bladet (a Danish newspaper) to a report in the Irish Independent that her boyfriend, Irish golfer Rory McIlroy, was so upset by a photo Wozniacki posted on Twitter that he broke up with her, leaving the Dane “absolutely devastated.”
This saga, now a few days running, began when Wozniacki posted a now widely viewed picture of McIlroy sleeping—his mouth agape and the Brooklyn-cool glasses crooked on his face. The only thing missing is drool. (Where is Photoshop when you really need it?)
Even Serena Williams took note, and playfully tweeted: “Omg Caro u are soooo mean!!!! Love it!!”
The question of the moment in many tabloid outposts these days is, “Did he or didn’t he?” Meaning, did McIlroy break up with Wozniacki over this posting, as reported in the not always bankable Irish Independent?
After all, this same outfit reported that McIlroy dumped Wozniacki way back in August, and characterized her as “totally distraught.” Does anyone else get the feeling that reporting devastating, shattering, gut-wrenching, heart-breaking, and distraughifying (yeah, I made up the word) splits between McIlroy and Wozniacki have become a cottage industry on the Emerald Isle?
In this latest missive, the Irish Independent quoted an unidentified source as having said: “There were a lot of tears. She (Wozniacki) still has her profile picture on her social-networking site set as the two of them in happier times, but I can tell you the pair are no longer an item.”
Well, perhaps Wozniacki, the two-time year-end WTA No. 1 who has slipped to No. 9 and remains without a Grand Slam title, still has the pair in her Twitter profile picture because they are still together. Wozniacki herself fired back with the quote at the top of this piece. She also was quoted in the same story as saying, “I’m so tired of the rumors. They occur every time Rory and I are apart a few days or do not write on Twitter.”
I report all this not because I’m particularly interested in the love lives of McIlroy and Wozniacki, but because it so vividly brings to mind the shopworn but always useful Shakespearean phrase, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”
If you don’t want this kind of attention, Caro, don’t post pictures of your famous boyfriend looking somewhat grotesque in bed in the first place. To many who commented on this affair, publishing a picture like that by someone in an intimate relationship with the subject is a “fire-able offense.”
I don’t know about that, other than to say that if I did anything remotely like this, my wife would take a pair of pliers and pull out my fingernails. But I do know that if some men are indeed dogs, some women are hounds—publicity hounds, that is. I can think of half a dozen of them, and that’s just using the names Lohan and Kardashian.
You can add Wozniacki to that august company. The problem for me is that so many of her stunts or attempts at humor are cringe-worthy. There’s no crime in always taking a joke or some banter one step further than it needs to go. And Wozniacki certainly isn’t the only person on the planet whose humor is strikingly lacking in what we call “subtlety.” I like that she’s pretty open about her life, of course; it’s just a shame that she’s not really that interesting.
If you’re a fan of Wozniacki, you might be concerned that she’s going to be good for her word on becoming more private. I wouldn’t worry about that, though—I have a feeling she likes things just the way they are.